Welcome back for another exciting installment of the One-Man-Dueling-with-a-Ghost Fitness Blog. I am your host, the infamous and exuberant Tech Guy. My deceased opponent, Mr. El-Ters, could not make it this week because of acute mortality. But never fear, ladies and gentlemen, I will carry on for both our sakes. Let’s review.
Business As Usual
There have been no introductions of new videos these past two weeks. The first week was the same as the preceding two, and the recovery period was the same as the end of block one. So, sadly, I do not have any exciting updates as to which new video I recommend the most. I can say, true to the hype, the 30-minute workouts are very easy to fit into my busy schedule. Even with working 10-16 hours a day, I can still find the time (and the necessary motivation) to turn on the next workout and get rolling. I still hate Cold Start. Every. Single. Second. But I do it for you all. In a way, not disappointing you has been a large part of my motivation. So thank you all for your readership and support.
The Results Are In
This past post was my first attempt to use a poll (which was not complicated thanks to the very direct instructions of one Mr. Etling). The topic was about which of the three different food groups, fats, carbohydrates and proteins, I should comprise my diet of on that day. As of midnight on Sunday, the results showed two votes for staying the course, two votes for all protein, and one vote for a day of fasting (you cheeky voter).
To accomodate the tie, I divided my daily calories in half and allotted one side to a normal distribution (40 percent carbohydrates, 30 percent protein and 30 percent fat) and the other to protein. For my protein blowout, I purchased flank steak and broiled it to medium rare (a process I highly recommend). I can’t tell you how much I appreciate not eating 2,700 calories of doughnuts. Seriously, two of them is not very satisfying.
The Great Motivator
I know I have touched on this before, but I wanted to go into more detail about how much I like Tony Horton as my fitness instructor. He makes me feel like I can accomplish more and more each week. I’ll say right now, I am not of fan of his gym-bashing rhetoric. Sure, we can presume the only people who see it are those who have already invested in the program, but others who are starting out can’t do many of the exercises in each video, even those with minimal impact. Some people need to start on an elliptical to get their exercise momentum rolling. Mr. Horton tells us to do our best and forget the rest. I think that advice applies to any workout routine, wherever you are.
Despite his ire for a gym routine (he is trying to sell a product, after all), I find myself drawn toward Tony’s charisma. Fact: Tony Horton used to be a stand-up comedian. While some of you may think his jokes fall flat, I think he absolutely crushes fitness stereotypes. Not all people with muscular frames are frat boys or jocks. Goofy people have just as much claim to exercise as anyone else. Crack jokes, have a friendly competition (like this blog), practice your pantomime when you tell everyone to close their eyes. Whatever it takes to make fitness fun. You don’t have to lift weights while staring into a mirror (although I would recommend one to check your form for the first few videos). You can listen to music, you can dance between sets, you can shadow box your evil twin to keep your heart rate up. Just as there are several practices that are blatantly lazy, there is no one road to getting into shape.
Not Built in a Day
I can tell you, I was not an athletic child. My exercise journey (it doesn’t happen overnight for anyone, and we don’t get training montages) began in high school, when I would walk a mile in the evening. Then two. Then three. Then I would jog one-eighth of the way. Then one-quarter. Then one-quarter, walk, another quarter, walk. I think you get my point. Depending on where you start, it can be a long road to fitness. But I can now comfortably run seven miles in an hour. I have been able to do it for years. Pull ups? As I’ve already said, a year ago I could do one, two if I really strained. Now I can do six comfortably, but I still use a chair when doing the videos. The journey itself doesn’t have a clear ending, but it can have a clear beginning. If fitness is your goal, start now. Your present self may feel awful for a half hour every day, but your future self will wish it could high five your past self.
The New Menu
Now that my bulk up phase is complete, it is time to chisel this marble down into the statuesque frame awaiting the daylight. Whereas before I had the lofty goals of 2,700 calories each day, I am now shooting for 2,100 per day. Not only will this help me with weight loss (and save me time and money) but the caloric distribution should help me maintain what I have gained. I’m looking forward to seeing what lies beneath the belly that has grown.
Another Two Weeks Down
Okay. Here are the updated pictures. I will let you make your own judgments.
So, I was expecting the progress to be worse, but I don’t appear to have ballooned much. Maybe it is the lighting. I feel as though I have gained more than the evidence shows. That’s why it is important to take pictures (or weigh yourself, or take measurements). The progress you make in your head may not necessarily match the truth. Either way, here’s to hoping week 10 shows a slimmer me, with magnificent abs. Ultimately, I will take what I can get. Until next time, thank you for reading.