ATB’s Top 25 Pokemon: #75-51

Volcarona.full

These Pokemon are better than just about every other Pokemon. They’re not quite good enough to make the top 50, but there’s no shame in that. A lot of the creatures in this section got multiple votes from the panel, but their campaign manager didn’t get enough people to the polling stations and nobody wanted Haunter to kiss any babies.

Tomorrow, the list begins to break some hearts. We’ll count down from 50 to 26, and just about everything in that section got significant support — but not enough to be the best Pokemon of all-time.

51) Volcarona

637

Chris: I mistakenly thought that this was a legendary at first, because of the way you first encounter it. Then I started breeding my own and realized the folly of my ways. Still, it’s got a fun moveset with some great offensive options and Quiver Dance shenanigans. Shame about that 4x Rock weakness though.

Shaun: Isn’t it ironic that the moth Pokemon IS the flame? HAHAHAHA too funny.  I don’t think I quite understand the love everyone has for this ugly fire moth, but elite Fire types are hard to come by, so I gave little Volcy a shot and was pleasantly surprised. Plus, like Chris said, he gives off a legendary vibe without ACTUALLY being legendary. So he can stay.

52) Ampharos

181

Shaun: Fun fact: I’ve wanted an Ampharos since birth, and it’s just never happened. Cool design, and apparently a Thunder boss, which is rare, because unless its name is Jolteon I never seem to have that type in my party. Alas, the stars have yet to align for me. Someone trade me yours!

Chris: Ampharos is the star of a touching story involving a lighthouse and some medicine and a girl who was probably totes adorbs to a 10-year-old trainer. (Or she had cooties, as is the norm at that age.) It was one of the few useful Electric types for quite some time, and the fact that it got a Mega evolution in Gen VI tells us a lot about its popularity.

53) Cyndaquil

155

Chris: Look at that Cyndaquil. How could anyone want to hurt Cyndaquil? But the bigger question is this: Who would win in a staring contest between Cyndaquil and Brock? Food for thought.

Shaun: I liked Cydaquil’s original design. Then I saw that the two evolutions were THE SAME DAMN THING BUT BIGGER, and I liked it less. Sorry buddy. Also you sucked in the anime. Sorry again.

54) Groudon

383

Shaun: One of the few legendaries I actually used, I had a fondness for Groudon. He helped me counter all those assholes with earthquake in the Elite 4, and he looked cool as hell. Never really bought the idea that he supposedly could create a world-ending drought when he could get put down by a Tentacruel, though…

Chris:  Never used Groudon, and I have a bit of inherent hatred toward him because I think same-type Earthquakes are the worst. Also, we should be concerned about the ecosystem if a big red dude can have this much impact.

55) Fennekin

96px-653Fennekin

Chris: I’m baffled as to how I’m the only person who voted for Fennekin. Everyone else loooooooved him when the starters were announced. Maybe they were just bitter about its final evolution, because Fennekin is totes adorbs.

Shaun: Yeah, you’re sorta exactly right. I left him off the list because my Delphox was sucking cheese and dropping dead left and right…and then after the list was composed, he started straight owning everything. Patience is a virtue. Sorry, everyone.

56) Haunter

93

Shaun: WIth a design a good level above his utility, Haunter was always frustrating to me because I wanted him to be great on my team and he just wasn’t. But his appearance in the anime was priceless.

Chris: True story: I never had a Gengar in the original Red/Blue because I didn’t have any friends with a link cable. So me and Haunter were bros for quite a while. Remember that time he earned a badge by making Sabrina laugh? Yeah…

57) Gardevoir

282

Chris: Gardevoir stopped me from beating Ruby. True story. I help this stupid kid and his pathetic Ralts and now he CRUSHES ME AT THE EXIT OF VICTORY ROAD??? Screw you and your illness, Wally.

Shaun: Basically, Wally and his Gardevoir Rocky 4’d you. You were Ivan Drago. Gardevoir, in its awesome silky dress, was Rocky. Went from a nothing Ralts to a badass Gardevoir for America. IF GARDEVOIR CAN CHANGE, AND YOU CAN CHANGE…EVERYONE CAN CHANGE.

58) Tyranitar

248

Shaun: Back in the Gold/Silver days, this thing was a BEAST! Now, I find his design sort of blah, but at least he had his day in the sun. Which is more than Breloom can say…

Chris: Tyranitar was a beast, but his (lack of) speed and 4x Fighting weakness really hurt him. He got a Mega form in Gen VI, yet it doesn’t come with anything fancy. Still a cool dude.

59) Ditto

132

Chris: I don’t even want to know the biology and physics involved in having a Ditto transform into a Wailord. That’s some verrrrrry stretchy putty.

Shaun: So I never figured it out – is Ditto as good as the Pokemon he transforms into? The world may never know. Still, his usefulness in breeding is unparalleled, making him arguably one of the most important Pokes ever.

60) Lucario

448

Shaun: Once upon a time, I thought Lucario was cool. Then Game Freak tried shoving how cool he was down my throat, and suddenly I’ve changed my opinion.

Chris: Yeah, I think I’m the same way. It also doesn’t help that his signature attack (Aura Sphere) has been picked up by a bunch of random other Pokemon like Mewtwo and Togekiss.

61) Jolteon

135

Chris: Jolteon is about the only Eeveelution I really like. This might have something to do with that day he Pin Missiled a Mewtwo in a critical spot in Pokemon Stadium.

Shaun: I remember that day. The Pin Missile Coup of 99. It was a good year. It’s an Eevee form, and one of the better ones at that, so yes, I’m sold. Sad that you can’t pet him without getting quills in your hand though.

62) Luxray

405

Shaun: Luxray is my boy! Against all odds, he kept finding a way to stay in my party. He’s a legit Thunder type, and he looks cool as hell. Luxray is the Fonz of pokemon, pre-shark.

Chris: I kept Luxray in my party all the way through Diamond as well. All three forms of his evolution are pretty neat and it’s pretty rare for Electric types to go the ATK route.

63) Tyrantrum

96px-697Tyrantrum

Chris: My brain knows that this is pretty much just a T-rex, but it’s got a nice typing and good stats and it’s still neat. My biggest regret in X/Y was choosing the other fossil.

Shaun: Now that everyone’s warned me to choose the Tyrantrum fossil…I”m pretty sure I’m gonna not choose that fossil. Ever since Jurassic Park, T-Rex’s and their ridiculously short arms just don’t do it for me.

64) Entei

244

Shaun: Entei reminds me of that dumb lion from The Chronicles of Narnia that’s voiced by Liam Neeson. That, combined with the fact that he ran away from me about 45…MILLION times makes me hate him with a passion of two to three suns.

Chris: You should be thrilled, though…Entei is voiced by YUGI MOTO when he shows up in the movie. HE PLAYS FIRE BLAST IN DEFENSE MODE AND ONE CARD FACE DOWN.

65) Crobat

169

Chris: Zubat was way too annoying and way too everywhere. Golbat had a hideous sprite in Gen 1. But Crobat? That dude is legit. He has extra wings just so he can be super fast.

Shaun: He’s fast, and actually useful in battle…but his face is too dumb. It bothers me that his face is his whole body.

66) Deoxys

386

Shaun: This started being around the time legendaries were getting really absurd in their lore. As such, I hate you Deoxys, and all of your stupid forms.

Chris: This also started being around the time when forms became prominent. Too many forms. Also, its stats are pretty broken.

67) Porygon-Z

474

Chris: I like that Porygon’s design continued to get more refined as time went on. Now he’s got Adaptability and Tri-Attacks sting like the dickens.

Shaun: Yeah, more refined, but…I don’t know, as he gets sleeker, I like him less. I liked Porygon before he was cool. Also, the idea of this Pokemon doesn’t make any damn sense to me. Some God complex BS going on there.

68) Breloom

286

Shaun: I want to rip off his stupid hat and play fetch with it with my dog. Mr. Patches is gonna eat tonight!

Chris: Shaun’s just bitter because he had no idea who Breloom was. But the Spore-Focus Punch strategy is a great little niche for this guy.

Shaun: …it’s true. I had to Google him…

69) Torterra

389

Chris: The Pokedex description (which are always silly) says that some Pokemon just live on his back forever. Made in the shade, baby.

Shaun: So is he like the god of those that live on his back? I want to play that game.

70) Staraptor

398

Shaun: So what you’re telling me is PIdgeot. Like PIdgeot’s cousin. Pidgeot’s backwater, hillbilly cousin. Very original.

Chris: “Backwater, hillbilly cousin” implies some sort of inferiority, though, which is certainly not the case (sorry, Bird Jesus!). Staraptor has great attack, good speed and strong abilities. Pidgeot…not so much.

71) Squirtle

7

Shaun: One of the rare Pokemon in my book where the first form is WAY better than the later ones.

Chris: This guy didn’t care about anyone, was the leader of a gang, and stored a pair of sunglasses in his shell. How do you top that?

72) Mienshao

620

Chris: I probably should have forced this onto my list. Mienshao is almost too elegant to be a fighting type, but it works anyway.

Shaun: His shirt doesn’t fit. GET A SMALLER SHIRT, YOUR SLEEVES LOOK RIDICULOUS.

73) Bulbasaur

1

Chris: Bulbasaur was so OG that he didn’t even need to evolve to be one of Ash’s strongest Pokemon. Then again, Ash is kind of a loser, so that doesn’t take much.

Shaun: BULBASAUR! When Ash, plummeting off the edge of a cliff, spun around and summoned Bulbasaur, who caught him with his vines, it was the show’s coolest moment ever. That, and you have to be pretty awesome to be consulted 3 million times throughout Twitch Plays Pokemon.

74) Combusken

256

Shaun: Since when did they make the giant chicken from Family Guy his own Pokemon?

Chris: Interestingly, all three forms of this evolution tree made it onto the list. This is the only time that happened. And yes, that means spoilers for the future.

75) Haxorus

612

Chris: It’s hard for me to take Haxorus seriously because of the first part of its name, but then again, its attack does kinda haxx0r your face.

Shaun: I take what I said back about Krookodile — THIS is the Pokemon I’d least like to see in a dark alley. What a beast.

RELATED LINKS

#100-76

#125-101

Honorable Mention

Introduction

One thought on “ATB’s Top 25 Pokemon: #75-51

  1. Yeah, not gonna lie, Gamefreak got a bit over zealous with the Lucario hype. He’s my favorite Pokemon and all, but sheesh; there’s such a thing as too much guys.

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