As we venture into the top 100, the tension starts to build. This is no longer a list of hangers-on and has-beens. The Pokemon that made this section received some considerable support from at least one of our panelists. Maybe that support never caught on with the rest of the group, or maybe a handful of people had it real low on their list. Regardless, these Pokes are still in the 88th percentile of
all Rattatas every known species.
Tomorrow, the list starts to get more serious — we’ll look at #75-51 on our journey to the best Pokemon of all-time.
Shaun: This pokemon’s face pisses me off. That’s all I have to say. Take that as you will.
Chris: You wanna know a funny story? Scrafty has access to Dragon Dance. No, I have no idea why either. I’m as confused as you.
Chris: I rocked one of these in Gen IV. Pretty decent stats and an interesting movepool. I also like how its sprite looks like it’s shielding its eyes from the sun.
Shaun: I don’t get why Gallade isn’t Gardevoir. It confuses me. Choose one, you guys, it’s not hard. For what it’s worth, it does look pretty cool though.
Chris: Just a cool fire bird who outspeeds the sun. More importantly, Fletchinder broke down the 10-character barrier once and for all. Longer names for everyone!
Shaun: Is the sun fast though? Or, like, the sun moving through the galaxy? Because I’ve heard that is pretty fast. And awesome. And fascinating. Fletchinder is none of those things.
Chris: Zoroark is okay and all, but what if it was a Pokemon that looked like Zorro instead? Think about it.
Shaun: Now the pokemon are dressing like humans!? They’re taking over oh god please no, not like this…
Shaun: The angsty, teenage version of Bulbasaur. Probably on drugs, too. And you know he’s not using protection.
Chris: Poor Venusaur. He’s the worst of the original three starters’ final evolutions, mostly because Grass/Poison was garbage tier back then. I always kinda liked him though.
Shaun: Oh…I got him confused with Ivysaur. Venusaur is the fat old man deadbeat father version of Bulbasaur. Stop being a drunk, you stupid dinosaur!
Chris: Serperior is better than you. Serperior is all too aware that he is better than you. Serperior has zero cares to give about your opinion.
Shaun: Gotta be honest, his smugness won me over. That and the thought of him slithering through a field of tall grass and picking off unsuspecting trainers reminds me of the end of Jurassic Park 2 and I like it.
Shaun: This Pokemon looks like a giant snake Transformer robot. I hate it.
Chris: This Pokemon is my least favorite legendary from my least favorite generation. I hate it.
Shaun: No really, what is this?
Chris: You could have given me six or seven guesses at what a Whimsicott was and I probably would have gotten them all wrong. (For the record, my money would have been on a playful army bed.)
Chris: Electrode comes out of its ball with a smirk that says “I’m probably faster than you and I’m going to Selfdestruct because I think it’s funny.”
Shaun: Electrode reminds me too much of a heckler at a Pokemon comedy club. Plus, he looks like he’s the only one in on his own joke, which frustrates me. I hate him.
Shaun: Sort of cool back in the day. In my young head, pitting Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan against each other was the only way to simulate a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee. And then Hitmontop came and ruined everything.
Chris: And then Tyrogue was like “yo dawg, here’s some complicated evolution mechanics” and everything was ruined again. Hitmonlee was okay, but I feel like Hi Jump Kick had about 10% accuracy when I used him. Research bias!
Shaun: A walking bear trap. In Pokemon, they make the world seem so bright and fun and full of life. IN reality, Pokemon like these are why, if you lived in this world, you could never leave your damn house.
Chris: I think Game Freak picked up on the fact that people like Mawile, because adding Fairy was useful and Mega Mawhile has 200+ BASE ATTACK. Serious business.
Chris: Like a lot of other legendaries, the typing makes for an interesting combination, but I’m still over legendaries.
Shaun: I like how his tail looks like an engine turbine. FLY ME TO THE MOOON, ZEKROM, YEAH.
Shaun: It’s just a fat, stupid, older Pikachu.
Chris: I wonder how many kids got legitimately upset when Ash tried to force Pikachu to evolve into Raichu. Because nobody wants a fatter Pikachu, especially considering how fat Pikachu already was at the start of the show.
Chris: Fun fact: When Gible cries, it sounds like a laser. PEW PEW. It also reminds me of those enemies from Super Mario World.
Shaun: Gible is the early form of one of my favorite Pokemon. He’s so OG. And yeah, the lasers are cool, but I wish they were real.
Shaun: What is this? Because the only image coming to my head is when you peel a cob of corn.
Chris: I have to admit, I think this little dude is cool. I almost put him on my own list. Defenses through the roof for such an innocuous looking Pokemon? Sure, why not!
Chris: Chikorita was kinda cool, and Ash’s was fiercely loyal to the point of jealousy. I still remember that annoying girl who loved baseball, though, which means no deal on this.
Shaun: Chikorita had that cool attack where it whipped its head and a razor leaf came out. That’s the only nice thing I have to say about this guy.
Chris: When people complain about ice cream cones and other silly designs, I can’t help but look back at things like Ninetails. Oh, a nine-tailed fox! How original! (It’s still neat though.)
Shaun: What?! You take that back! Ninetails is a sweet and majestic Chinese myth cat.
Shaun: I actually really like Staryu. I think it’s cool. I don’t know why it speaks in karate grunts, or how it speaks, period. That is all.
Chris: HYAH. Staryu is just a starfish with a gem in the middle, but he still rocks socks anyway. I prefer his evolution, though, as we’ll see later.
Chris: Sneasel’s pretty cool. It’s like a cat and a weasel put together, except I have no idea why those two animals would be makin’ love. But the heart wants what the heart wants.
Shaun: I would have liked it more if it sneezed all the time. Seems like a missed opportunity.
Shaun: “Hit em with a SPLASH ATTACK.”
Chris: One of my favorite moments on the show is when James kicks the Magikarp that he was duped into buying and then it evolves and destroys the universe.
Shaun: Cool design, but winner of the most pathetic gym loss in history. Apparently all you need to beat Onix is a couple of water bottles. Or maybe just spit on it a whole bunch.
Chris: The only reason Ash gets his first badge is because Onix gets doused by the sprinkler system AND because Brock feels sorry for his stupid Pikachu.. It was all downhill from there for our favorite rock snake, although he destroyed Team Rocket a few times.
Chris: My favorite part about Alakazam is how the evolutionary process keeps finding him more spoons to play with. Or maybe he’s summoning them WITH HIS MIND.
Shaun: Are the spoons organic? Is that what’s happening? It’s also sad that you watch the entire life span of a pokemon through his three evolutions. Alakazam is an old man waiting to die.
Shaun: When it becomes a problem that summoning your pokemon could destroy an entire sports arena, I can’t say I’m a huge fan. He is tanky though, I’ll give you that.
Chris: The itsy-bitsy Wailord went up the Water Spout. Then it used that move and…uh…did a lot of damage because it’s based on HP and Wailord has a lot to play with.
Shaun: “Let’s just have its head come out of a flower on its bland body, make it a grass type, and call it a day, boys!” That’s what passes for Pokemon design now, I guess.
Chris: As popular as Ash’s Bayleaf was, I still figured that at some point it was going to evolve into a Meganium. Never happened. I think the show’s writers just like doing weird things.
Chris: I like to think of Poliwrath as a Poliwag pushed way too far. OH YOU’RE GONNA KEEP KILLING ME, HUH? WELL TRY THESE FISTS ON FOR SIZE.
Shaun: Yeah, but when your big evolution is putting on white Michael Jackson gloves, you automatically suck.