Number Fourteen With a Bullet

Well, for the first time this year, I am really and truly sick. I mean the full nine yards. It happened at a terrific time, too — I had a ton of plans down in Phoenix and even took a day off work to stay down there for a while. And fate was like “bitch please, you’re not doing s***.”

If I seem frustrated, it’s probably because I am. See, I’m very much an “everything happens for a reason” kind of guy, but that gets put to the test at times like this.

Anyway, I had a completely different post sketched out for this week, but it’s going to have to wait — I spent most of the day so far in bed. Instead, here’s a full chamber of bullets.

  • On top of all the illness stuff, we’ve also been having problems with our move next month. You know what’s a whole lot of fun? Being told one thing, and shown another. Or being told one thing, and then told the exact opposite of that within a few hours. Such has been our experience with our apartment complex so far. One form we have says we can leave in the middle of the month. Another says “sorry, you have to turn in your 30-day notice on the 1st of the month.” Which…uh…sorta defeats the purpose of a 30-day notice, doesn’t it? You might as well call it a “you can only move out on the last day of the month” notice then, you f***ing idiots.
  • This is a greater extension of some other issues that have come up recently, and all of them have taught me one thing about myself: I don’t really give a damn about your personal choices. I mean that in both a good and bad way. On one hand, I believe that you’re free to think or say anything you’d like — even if that belief or statement is profoundly stupid. It’s your right to believe it. On the other hand, we have become so obsessed with rapid-fire reactions and polarizing opinions that some people are just a parody of themselves. Not everything is instantly the best or worst; not every issue is black and white. Seeing the middle ground in things allows for personal growth. Try it sometimes, you mouth breathers.
  • Okay, enough hostility. One interesting wrinkle that’s coming up is that we’re making the transition between softball (at which we were mediocre) to volleyball (at which ?????) starting next week. I’ve played volleyball off and on over the years, but never too seriously. I get the feeling this is going to be a fun season, but also a confusing one — I’m supposed to be coaching, and I barely know the rules myself.
  • Football’s back. Did you notice? I didn’t notice.
  • And finally, Stacy Keibler is peeking through to see if you’ve finished this post yet. You have, so she’s quite pleased.

Stacy Keibler for Maxim 2012-07

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