Why Eifel 65’s I’m Blue is the Best Song of All Time

In 1999, Eifel 65 released the greatest workout song known to mankind.

With an addictive-as-crack-cocaine electronic flourish and seemingly innocuous lyrics that cut like hot steel to the core of humanity, Eifel 65’s I’m Blue defined a generation. He’s blue. His house is blue. His girlfriend is blue. And so is the socio-economic climate of our culture.

What do you feel when you look at this picture?
What do you feel when you look at this picture?

If you work out to Eifel 65’s I’m Blue, science has proven you will last longer, lift harder, and channel a deeper endurance than you have ever known. It’s like Viagra for your body. Which, ironically, is blue. Now you see the layers of this song.

Eifel 65 never released another song as popular as Eifel 65’s I’m Blue. As far as I know, they never released another song, period. They didn’t have to. Eifel 65’s I’m Blue will pay them royalties for the rest of their lives. Royalties of the heart. Which most people agree is way better than money.

Once, when I was young, I listened to Eifel 65’s I’m Blue on repeat for seven hours while playing Tony Hawk 2. I don’t remember a lot about that night, but when I came to my senses in the morning, I realized I had set every Tony Hawk record ever, upon which my PlayStation exploded because it could not handle the high scores and sheer amount of 720s.

He's not wrong.
He’s not wrong.

If Eifel 65 held a concert, where all they did was lip-sync badly and dance awkwardly to Eifel 65’s I’m Blue on repeat for three hours, I would sell out the stadium myself by buying every ticket on sale, and then burn them in huge bonfire outside my house while playing Eifel 65’s I’m Blue so that I’m the only one who could witness the majesty of their show.

If Eifel 65 changed their name to Eifel 66 and released a follow-up song call Eifel 66’s I’m Red, I would sent a legion of falcons to hunt them, because it wouldn’t be Eifel 65’s I’m Blue, and therefore, it would be s***, and f*** them.

“Yo listen up, here’s a story, about a little guy who lives in a BLUE WORLD.”

Admit it; even just reading the first line of the song caused your heart to palpitate and your brow to form a few droplets of sweat. You already want to work out. Probably lift. And that’s why Eifel 65’s I’m Blue is the best song for every situation ever.

Graduation? Eifel 65’s I’m Blue. Hanukah? Eifel 65’s I’m Blue. Funeral wake? Kansas’ Dust in the Wind, followed promptly by Eifel 65’s I’m Blue.

Do I care that I spelled the name of their band wrong this entire time? No. Play me out, lyrics.

*frothing at mouth
*frothing at mouth

24 thoughts on “Why Eifel 65’s I’m Blue is the Best Song of All Time

  1. According to NPR, historians have finally tracked down the missing movement of Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony and it was Eiffel 65’s “I’m Blue.” True story.

    1. For what it’s worth, and you can choose to believe this or not, but I had no idea this song was in that movie. Haven’t seen it yet. It’s just some serious glitch in the matrix shenanigans over here.

  2. I was just about to ask that Iron Man 3 question. From the sounds of this amazing (and possibly obsessive?) post you are going to really enjoy Iron Man 3

    1. If I wasn’t going to see IM 3 before, I would stay up all night in the freezing cold to watch it now. And then record a bootleg, isolate the portion with that song in it, and play it on endless loop.

  3. I had a perfect moment with this song and Iron Man 3. I had a chance to see it before opening on Wednesday with the rest of the theatre crew I work with. When this song came on, I and several other over 20-somethings near me instantly began singing along. A quick glance at the majority of our crew (ranging from 16 to 19), however, revealed a stunning ignorance of the song’s glories.

    To be young again!

      1. Damn. I am always on the lookout for extra left arms too!

        What are the chances Blue plays in The Great Gatsby as well? I have a private premiere for that too!

        1. Chances are high. I’m Blue really evokes the 1950’s.

          On Wed, May 8, 2013 at 5:07 PM, At the Buzzer

  4. Dear Shaun,

    I truly admire your conviction, and your words carry such strength, but I still hate this song. And that image of the group makes me want to punch babies. And I wanted to punch Robert Downey Jr. upon hearing the song again. Sorry for the dissent, but that’s how it is.

    All the best,
    cary

    1. I apologize for cutting in on this comment. Cary, you have such a way with words. This is why I ❤ you so and your humor. But wow, that's a really strong response to a song if I ever saw one.

    2. Dear Cary,

      Thank you! I was hoping someone was actually going to talk about how the general public finds this song to be terrible 🙂 With that said, I think I know the problem – try listening to it on repeat for a few hours. I’m confident you’ll change your mind…

  5. Dear Shaun,

    It took me 5 days to reply because I’ve driven to Flagstaff, listened to “Blue (whatever)” the whole way, and now I’m ready to punch you.

    I’m waiting…

    Cary

    P. S. Not true, but I’m confident it’s what would happen if I followed your thoughtful suggestion.

    1. haha, I was so excited at first! “FUN WITH CARY” was worth the punch. Then you lied to me. And you didn’t like the song. This is what they call ‘rock-bottom” 🙂

  6. Hey guys, sorry to be a party pooper but currently I’m blue is my favorite song … yo listen up here’s the story, about a little guy that lives in a blue world, and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him inside and outside, blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette and everything is blue for him, and hisself and everybody around cause he ain’t got, nobody, to listen, I’m blue da ba dee da ba dye, da ba dee da ba dye, da ba dee da ba dye, da ba dee da ba dye, da ba dee da ba dye, da ba dee da ba dye, da ba dee da ba dye…

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