Fear you can’t resist

Phase two is officially underway! And so is my crippling fear of resistance bands!

I bought a cheap ass set of resistance bands from Target, and within one week, the stupid thing broke, leaving a nice little mark on my shoulder. Naturally, and because I hate myself, I googled the problem and was treated to horrific stories of bands breaking and shattering peoples’ noses and filling their eyes with blood. Wonderful!

So I spent more money and bought a nicer set. And with every pull, I imagine how I’d answer my family’s questions in the hospital room about how I’m horribly disfigured now. But enough about that.

Phase two

After getting a little softer during Recovery Week, I tried to go into Phase Two with a renewed focus. What I got was some of the silliest workouts I’ve ever seen.

Pullups with a towel. Weird, reach around push ups. Five step bicep curls. And much, much, more.

What is most silly is that all this BS actually seems to be working. I feel like the workouts in Phase two have been pretty deep, but more importantly, I feel the results afterwards. Near the end of the workout, my muscles start giving out, which means that the moves are working, and I’m going at a good pace and pushing myself at a good balance.

In Phase One, the schedule was:

• Chest on Monday (with abs)
• Plyo on Tuesday
• Shoulders and arms on Wednesday (with abs)
• Yoga on Thursday
• Legs and Back on Friday (with abs)
• Kenpo (dumb) on Saturday

In Phase two, they change this up. Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday are the same, which is slightly disappointing because I can those moves in my sleep now, and at times it feels like I am. But Monday is now chest and shoulders, Wednesday is back and biceps, and Friday is legs. This all is part of P90x’s focus on “muscle confusion,” where you keep throwing different things at your body to trick it off the plateau. Or something. Whatever it is, it feels like it’s working. I’m doing alright on my diet, but I refuse to spend an hour and half doing the same yoga moves ad nauseum. Somewhere, someway, there exists a fun yoga workout. This isn’t it. If that’s the linchpin of results with this workout, then I guess I give up. I GIVE UP.

Stay tuned for next week!