You see, lettuce is a perishable item… like you two monkeys. You trade paint one more time, you so much as touch, I’m gonna Black Flag the two of you, and take apart your racecars for 300 laps. Then, if you pass inspection and you put your cars back together, I might let you back into the race. Now, just to show there’s no hard feelings, we’re all gonna go out to dinner together.

Chris, Shaun, and Tech Guy are here, suffering through the very real drama that is Mario Kart Double Dash. In this circuit, losing means more than just a disappointing paycheck — it means your family gets killed. Having watched Yoshi struggle on 150 cc and lose his wife, the Koopa Troopas step in to try to stop the bleeding. Literally.

Have a game you want to see us suffer through play next? Let us know in the comments or by sending us an email. Now that this is a series, we’ve created its own page, which you can see here. It’ll list all the games we’ve done so far and what might be coming next.

It’s time to save Yoshi’s wife from an unfortunate mangling accident. Game on.