Last week I attended the Arizona State Fair. Aside from the usual games ferris wheels and prizes, there were many different booths set up of people trying to sell you whatever crazy new products they have come up with to enrich your life. “Sleep on a better Mattress!” “Whiten your teeth!” or “Bring Balance to your life with a wristband!” The last one sounds the strangest, but I’ve looked at this product before. It’s called the Bionic Band, a product that is supposed to provide a specific frequency that aligns the protons in your body. These protons are out of alignment due to frequencies such as TVs, cell phones and computers. According to the CEO: “That really kind of puts our body out of alignment, you get aches and pains, there’s all sorts of things that happen when your body is out of alignment. When you put the band on it basically puts the frequency of the earth back into your body, that’s all it’s doing. So it’s kind of like walking on the beach all the time as long as you have a band on.”
Well I’m a guy who doesn’t like to spend a lot of money, a guy who has had aches and pains in my joints, and I also am a guy who sits in front of a computer all day for my job. Apparently the bombardment of frequencies from my computer screen are throwing my body out of whack, causing me to be sleepy and achy. So, on a whim I decided to purchase the Bionic Band from the kiosk, and give it a shot.
Before I decided whether to buy it or not, the salesman put on a demonstration showing how I was “out of balance.” He had me stand on one leg with both arms outstretched while he pushed down on my right arm. Naturally, I tipped over and had to catch myself. He then slapped on the Bionic Band on my wrist and did the test again, and I didn’t tip. Who knows what caused that, but it was interesting enough to make me want to give it a shot. I had seen plenty of athletes wearing it, and I figure they wouldn’t wear it unless it actually did something.
I ended up getting the STATTV band (at a reduced price of $25, endorsed by Amar’e Stoudemire no less!) which is supposed to “help take your game to the next level,” whatever that means. After putting it on, I felt a tingling in my extremities and a small uneasiness in my stomach. The band seemed to be doing something, and the salesman even said that I should be feeling some tingling in my fingers and that it would really take about 5 days until I felt all of the results. He then saw Courtney and gave her one as well as a “buy one get one free” type of deal. That kind of raised questions in my mind, as if they can really just give it away like that, is it really worth it?
Well, it’s been five days since I bought the band and have worn it non stop. I have slept like a baby every night and I have felt a lot of tension that I’ve had in my lower back loosened. Is this cause of the Bionic Band? I can’t say. My fiance Courtney has told me that she has been wearing the band she got (the free one) and has slept like a baby every single night since she put it on.
The naysayers of the band say that it’s all a placebo, and that there are no real scientific facts to back up the claimed benefits. They say that once you know the band is on that your mind believes that you’re more “balanced” and that your muscles will respond in turn. It’s a similar procedure to giving some people in a test group a medicine and others received nothing but a sugar pill, and then the sugar pill group reporting an effect. They say that this product is essentially a snake oil, and parts money from the fools.
Does the Bionic Band work? I really don’t know. It looks kinda cool, and so far I’ve felt less tired than I used to…so there’s that. Any purchase of the band comes with a 90 day warranty if it breaks, and a 30 day money-back guarantee if you don’t like it. So it’s worth a shot if you can afford it.