Throughout the lifetime of this website, we’ve seen some crazy things be written, From Shaun’s Time Travelling Socks to Chris’ anger issues and Nick’s weird water farm where he breeds…seahorses or something. But this past week, I’ve seen the entire ATB crew weigh in on an issue that I thought could never be an issue. Everyone’s got their claim on who is the best Pokémon, but they’re all wrong, you hear me? All of them. The best Pokemon of all time doesn’t even have time to link you to the prior arguments, because they don’t matter, they’re totally irrelevant. Who’s this best Pokémon you might ask?

That’s right, it’s Jigglypuff.

Who can deceive anyone more than Jigglypuff? I mean, if you’re walking along at night and you see MewTwo with his dark balls of evil orbiting around him, you’re gonna walk the other way. Mudkip looks like he has feces on his face, you’re gonna steer clear of that. Metagross is a freakin tank, you probably can’t even walk around him, even though you probably aren’t afraid of him. Then even if Piplup tried to hurt you, you’d just get a shower from him, oh well.

Jigglypuff is the one you’d want to say “AWWWWW” when you saw him and get those giant anime eyes, but Jigglypuff doesn’t care about you, he’ll knock you into next week and take a nap afterword. Here, look at this example: (skip ahead to 54 seconds in)

Deception is the key. Want to play with her hair SLEEP ATTACK! Want to squeeze her like a Teddy Bear? SLEEP ATTACK! Want to roll her around like a ball? SLE…well she actually likes that, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO NOT SLEEP ATTACK YOU AFTER!

Jigglypuff has a kind side though. She has aspirations, she wants to bring the world peace and harmony! She just wants to sing. Her songs put little kids to sleep, saving the sanity of millions of parents. If those kids aren’t asleep within 5 seconds? Well…you know what’s coming.

I’ll admit, I never played Pokemon before, in fact, I never really knew more than three characters in my entire life. But after reading my colleague’s arguments, it’s clear that Jiggly has got it all. Cute, dangerous, and no stupid water attack. If you disagree? SLEEP ATTACK!