Hey, how’s it going? I know you’ve been busy with traveling around the country so I’ll keep this brief: Could you please come to Arizona to play for us?
I can’t begin to imagine all that’s going through your mind lately. You’ve got to feel like your wife just dumped you for a new, younger man…yet you’ve got supermodels running after you trying to have your baby. It’s got to be confusing. You thought you were going to spend your entire life with Indy, yet she left you because you cost too much and got too old. Well we don’t think you’re too old, Peyton; in fact, you’re just right for us, and we’re just right for you.
Look at what we’ve got here: We’ve got a beautiful home in Glendale with a state-of-the-art everything for you to feel comfortable in. Your main roommate in that home will be one of the nicest guys you’ve ever met: Larry. Larry is the perfect roommate for a high-quality guy like you! He’ll clean up any and all of your messes (bad throws) and always give the credit to you when he makes you look good. There’s truly no one better than him at what he does.
But that’s not all! Our landlord Ken is top notch. He’s the guy who will work with you when you have concerns, and even change his way of thinking when you might have a better idea of how to run the place. I know you guys spoke last weekend, did it go well?
I know you two will just make the best of partners.
Really though, the overall best reason to come here is the neighbors and the neighborhood. This place is an entire new adventure. We’ve come a long way here in Phoenix. Many people have made fun of us, and for good reason. The past 20 years have been dreadful. But Papa Kurt came in and started to change the mindset; now you can keep it going and become a legend in a second town, and do it a lot faster than you did in your old place. Your neighbors will be 65,000 fans screaming your name in total support of you every week. We’re kind of new at this whole “cheer for the home team” thing here in our desert, but we’ve started to get it down pretty well. You can help us help you.
Think about the other places you can go. Denver may have a lot of money to throw at you, but why does that matter? They will throw cash at you, but you won’t have the right people around you to make you the best you can be. Miami? They just figured out that had a basketball team last year. They will love you for a minute until the next shiny object comes their way. They’ll never love you like we will. Tennessee might have been your first love back in college, but that time has passed, and it’s time that you came to the one that will embrace you more than you ever thought possible.
Come to Arizona, Peyton. Win a Super Bowl here with us, and we’ll love you more than Steve Nash and Luis Gonzalez combined. And you’ll make this particular blogger very happy.
Thanks for reading,
Lifetime Cardinals fan